Life is Like a BOWL of Chocolate

A few weeks ago I was preparing some chocolate confections for a craft fair happening in the community. Since I work with chocolate semi-frequently, chocolate and I have come to understand one another to a degree. Chocolate is pretty temperamental (kind of like me, actually) so when it comes to a meltdown (literally), I have to keep a watchful eye. However this last time, I made a mistake that cost me a batch of what could have been sweet sustenance. 

In an effort to multitask, I walked away from my bowl of chocolate while it was melting. I wasn't stirring it constantly. I wasn't keeping it on a low heat setting. I wasn't even looking at it. Until... I returned and saw a scorched mess of sugary mass unfit for even the most desperate chocolate addict. It was ruined and I had to start all over again. In hopes to get more things done, I ended up being unfocused and wasteful.

And God spoke to me.

I thought about this chocolatey situation in light of life. We all have so many gifts, skills and passions. I believe we are called to use those to the best of our ability. But sometimes we find that we spread ourselves a little too thin... doing too much... multi-tasking... "getting more done". All these things are good things... but sometimes it's just best to say "no". Deep down, I struggle with letting jobs go 'cause for some strange reason I think that if I'm not the one to do it, I will have let someone down or the task simply won't get done. Or worse!! I think I'm the one that is capable of doing it the best, so why wouldn't I just do it?! The truth is, there are many people in this world way better than all of us. Taking on another task doesn't do anyone any good. We're stifling another's gift and clouding our own vision all at the same time. Bad, bad, bad!!

As this year comes to a close, I want to release this way of being. I want to focus on what needs to be focused on for me. I want to dedicate myself to the bowl of chocolate and make it the very best it can be. While I am a proponent of getting down to business and maximizing time... I am coming to see that working linearly, in a sense, can be more fruitful. So here's to 2012! May we take inventory of ourselves and grow & grow in the gifts knit within our being.

Oh and the end of my chocolate story goes like this...

(My choco-love booth at The Holiday Boutique)

I learned from my mistake that day, and the second time around the chocolate turned out perfectly melted. I stayed focused, even though it meant getting rid of some other components of my sugary confections. To be quite honest, I didn't need the other fluffy stuff. The lack of bells and whistles made my sweet treats shine more... the way chocolate was meant to be!

Let's grab hold of 2012 and shine like perfectly tempered chocolate. It's possible. We've got the Master Chocolatier working on us.

No American January

I never knew January 2011 in America. But that's okay... because... I was on the other side of the world!! A year ago I boarded a plane and headed to South Korea.

I was part of a team of Portlanders, a Californian, an East Coaster and a Illinoisan and we were commissioned to teach English to elementary and middle school students during winter English camps. It was a time of stretching and growth. Of breaking and bonding. And it was a fitting way to start this year of thoughtful transience.

We had a number of duties during our time abroad, including...



Yes, this happened and it was a pleasant surprise to be on a team that was capable of such a harmonious blend. What are the chances?

During my time in So Ko... I experienced a reunion (with a family who hosted me in 2007 in a town a few hours from where I was this time), sickness (for a few weeks... of all sorts... and I'll leave it at that! It was gross), encouragement, opportunities & obstacles. It was such a beautiful thing and I am forever grateful for the chance to have done this with such a great group of people.

One of the highlights was learning from the people on my team. Each person brought  a necessary element to our purpose. The group couldn't have been better.  I came home challenged and inspired.

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary

During this time of year I can't help but think about Mary... you know, Mary the mother of Jesus! I know every parent thinks their child is perfect... but to be the mother of the Son of God?! I wonder what it must have felt like.

Of course pregnancy is not something I am familiar with, but neither was Mary before that angel of the Lord shared some special news with her. It's funny, 'cause it's usually the other way around. The mother is typically the one that makes that announcement. But hey, there's nothing traditional of how this all went down!

I'm sure she felt opposing emotions. She might have had a mix of being excited/scared/proud/doubtful/ready to party/worried and every other emotion in between.

I was talking to one of my sisters about this yesterday. If that same thing happened in our time, I don't think I'd believe Mary when she told me she was pregnant without... you know. I just wouldn't believe her! I'd be like "Mmm hmmm... sure. God made you pregnant. 'Cause He does that all the time right Mary girl?? It's okay. God will forgive you and make this situation work out for His plan." My pride and my holier-than-thou mentality would be in full force. When all the while it's His plan from the start!! Well, shame on me! How dare I think I know better than God's way!?

But thank the Lord for grace. His grace and mercy can be seen all throughout this story. And it's beautiful. Still I can't help but place myself in Mary's thought life. She was carrying more than just her baby... she was carrying the baby. The One that the world had been waiting for. The One that would change the entire world and bring redemption. Perhaps she was thinking...

Why am I so afraid? How can I doubt the Name?
I feel You in me, though with my eyes I can't see...

The promise through the years, grace and mercy now are here

This love is growing more. Each day I trust You, my Lord.
You're the King of the world... the Rock of ages.
You're the One, the Messiah, Savior of all.
Love come down as a babe, born blameless and perfect
Forever remain my glorious God most high!

The doubt, fear, excitement and joy that Mary felt... I believe we may feel to a degree. Each day we must trust that what we go through is for a greater purpose. And while we have moments of worry, we know that love has come and because of it... we are saved! Though Jesus came down to earth as a babe, He has been and always will be our God most high. Let's celebrate love come down!

Mai Ka

Once upon a time I had a mighty grape of a car. Her name was Carl. Carl the Car. She was the sweetest drop of purple rain I've ever driven. She was the car I received as a high schooler and she lasted me a little over eight years. She was a faithful ride, quirks & all. But alas, our time together is no more...

The day she died, that fateful December day exactly a year ago, I was on my way to a Soup & Bread Fest with friends (with my West African Peanut Soup in tow... see previous post to understand my affections for this soup). I was at a stop sign and right as I lifted my foot from the brake the transmission went out. Forever. But for some odd reason, I felt okay. I think I just knew it was a long time coming... and I didn't cry. I merely sat there... stuck at a fourway stop... cars honking at me... and I wasn't upset. The time had come. So after the initial shock, and a couple dudes coming to my window and asking me what my dealio was, we got moving. They helped push my car to a more convenient location and I carried on with my night. A friend picked me up and I brought my pot of love to join the others for the wintery festivities.

(This is Carl the day after she died, I raided her of all the trinkets and toys I had stored in her over the years. This is where she died and this is where she remained... until the tow truck took her to a better place)

Now, I'm not saying it was a fun experience to lose Carl. Not at all. I did have my moment of tears in the days to come. But at the very moment she died, I felt a sense of peace. Is that weird? Perhaps. But you see my life with Carl was a thing of the past. No, I never dealt drugs or transported illegal weapons in her. She was a rather good car... very fitting for me. She was purple for crying out loud! But just 'cause something is good for a season doesn't mean it's meant for you for forever. Saying goodbye to Carl was almost like in The Lion King when Rafiki looked at the grown up picture of Simba and declared "It is time!". When Carl died, it was like Rafiki painted a mane on the lion cub-ishness of my transportation and told me to move on.

Sometimes, I feel like we wait for things to be in order before we're ready to move on. But I think there are times when we just need to let go before we can even have a glimpse of what is to come. And when that new thing comes, I can guarantee you it's not going to be a bed of roses forever and always. Let's get back to the story of my transport (or lack there of at this point in the plot line)...

When Carl died, I knew I had to find a replacement. However a couple weeks after all this happening, I ended up in South Korea for a month, which was actually a nice break from the stress of searching. But of course the moment I returned, the search was back on... full force. Tears and all. I can be extremely a little dramatic at times, so when I was having a difficult time finding a new car... I was less than fun to be around in my "moments". Until one day...

I got a call about a silver little cutie pie of a car that fit my requirements. I saw her, and decided she was mine. So I named her "Mai Ka" (like a mix between the name "Micah" 'cause I've always liked that name, and when someone says "hey, that's my caaaa!!")

Now the relationship between me and Mai Ka hasn't been smooth sailing by any means, but it works. And while I could do without all of the speed bumps we've faced together, she's what I need for this time of my life. I couldn't have predicted that I'd meet Mai Ka at the time I did, and I couldn't have foreseen the immediate struggle we'd go through (we've had several accidents in the short time we've been together), but somehow this addition of Mai Ka in my life came right when I needed her most and she's still here.

How long will Mai Ka & I be driving buddies? I can't say for sure... but I am learning that seasons are just that. A season... so I will embrace Mai Ka for this season, however long it may last and together we'll ride like the wind!!

Let It Simma'

Have you ever looked at a recipe that sounds delightful right up until the step that says something along the lines of "continue to cook, stirring frequently"? I do everything in my power to avoid such a step in the cooking process. I will conduct an intense google search to find a good alternative. But the truth is, there's only one way that leads to a delicious dulce de leche, silky smooth pudding or luxuriously thick béchamel. And that way, my friends, is the way of the simmer.

When I make lemon curd, I stand by the stove (whisk in hand) for quite a while before it's just right. And by just right, I mean spreadablely thick with just the right amount of temptressness to make you want to eat it straight from the container.

(I didn't make this, but I want to eat it right now)

But for every success, I've had many a failure. I've had plenty of experience making lemon curd where it's turned out absolutely wrong. I've taken it off the heat too soon and it's super soupy. I've resisted the constant stirring and it ends up a big ol' lumpy loo. Or worse... burnt bits sprinkled throughout! Yea, gross! I've turned up the heat to speed things along, only to create an unidentifiable flubbery object. I've cooked it too long and it becomes like paste. And lemon paste belongs on a child's church craft, not in a fruit tart. See the difference? It's gotz ta simma', yo.

How often do we rush the simmer of our lives? There's a grand richness added to us when we go through the heat of life with constant stirring. It's not something we can or should avoid. It's a part of life. Now, I'm not saying it's the most comfortable situation to be in. Goodness, I would much rather just be chilling in the chocolate-drawer than be cooking away for who knows how long! But the result of this process is worth it. Simmering gives substance to what was once watery and unappetizing. It takes time... it takes patience.

So when you're (and I'm talking to me too!) going through the fire, remember it's going to be alright. And in the end, you'll be even better than the center of a cream puff!

Bakesta Fo' Life

It's no secret that I love to bake. The holidays bring out the baked goods in me to the millionth degree. Not only do I enjoy sharing love on a plate, but I love the art of baking. Flavor combos, food composition, garnishes, there is just so much creativity involved and it's so fun! Baking is also one of my muses, from which I learn many lessons and draw upon for inspiration.

After a long weekend of baking and chocolatizing, I don't have many more words to type about the matter, so I'll simply leave you with this... (which, I do believe, expresses my sentiments rather well)