Trust is Hard

The way the Lord takes care of us still astounds me. His ways are perfect and beyond anything we can conjure up on our own. His provision comes from all places... and what often seems to be out of the blue. He gives me what I need, even though I think I need things a specific way. He gives resources, skills, creativity, and so much love and He mixes it all into a pot & produces miracles! Miracles, I say!

I've literally gone from saying "God, I just need a glimmer of hope!" to Him demonstrating His power and giving me that hope... the hope that a frail human being so needs here and there. Sometimes I claim that all hope is lost, but the truth is, hope is always there... I've simply stopped looking for it.

But He works all things together for my good & for His fame & glory. If I could just remember that! Does His Word repeat & declare time & again that trusting in Him is the best way to go? The stress free way to go? The anti-worry-wart way to go? Why do I insist on making my life so difficult?!

I sometimes try to "set myself up" for miracles. And then nothing happens. If Make-Your-Own-Miracle was a foundation, I'd probably have signed up for it by now. The cool thing about the God I serve is He doesn't need me. He doesn't need my efforts to show His power. That's not to say I need to be a lazy poo and wait for miracles. But I do believe as I step out and move forward in Him, He will take care of business. In daily needs, in relationships, in vision for life... in EVERYTHING! He is God, afterall.

At the start of this year, I prayed a prayer.

Hold me with your hope & love
I can't see quite far enough
Fill me with what only You can give
Speak Your purpose over my life
Rid me of all that I hold so dear & let Your Kingdom come
'Cause all I want is to love You & all I am is for You, Lord
Walk me down this path, oh Lord
Through the roses, through the storms
Draw me in & keep my gaze on You
'Cause all I want is to love You & all I am is for You, Lord
Take my past & present still
Lead my future as You will
All I am is for You, my Lord

Clearly, I recognize the truth of His Word. Over & over I've experienced the truth of His Word. So why do I still worry?! I think part of the remedy is that I need to thank Him more. I need to remember. Not necessarily live in the glory days, but remember that He has done great things in times when I couldn't see a solution. I'll probably definitely need Him to have this happen in my life.

Okay, Lord... do Yo' thang in me!