A few months ago I got injured... injured bad! I got a second degree burn because of... ready for this? Water! WATER!! My good and faithful beverage! So sad, but it really happened. During a routine pour of boiling water into my purple tumbler, I instead poured the water directly onto my hand. To say that it was painful is an understatement and it burned for a good 12 plus hours. It underwent a mega-metamorphosis from cute bubble blister to a cryptic mass of flesh wound that was filled with pus & gore. It changed daily and I was somehow taken by its "charm" to the point of documenting it via phone photos every single day. Over time it eventually fizzled and to this day the thing that remains is a scar.
About two ago, I realized my phone was low on space 'cause of all the photos of my burn so I decided to email the pictures to myself & get them off my phone. So I did.
Or so I thought.
Turns out the photo files never actually attached to two of the emails I sent (I had to do them in batches 'cause there were so many pictures!). But I didn't realize it until the next day when I was looking through my emails. "OH NO!!! MY BURN!!", I exclaimed! My mom was nearby and asked me what was wrong. So I told her that my precious burn pictures were gone. She looked at me and laughed a little and said "Why would you want to remember that?"
And that kind of resonated within me. I find myself often reliving previous hurts... over & over again. Why? Why would I want to remember that?
Maybe it's because when I relive the pain, I see myself as a victim... helpless... and in such case, nothing is my fault. At all. Or maybe reliving pain is just a way of me avoiding moving forward with what remains as healing takes place.
I'm not sure where all this is coming from, or where it's leading me to. They are just my thoughts on the matter. And this is hardly a conclusion, but are we ever really done learning from this life?
Now, all depth aside, I really do wish I had all my burn pics still. 'Cause I mean really, how many people live life with an experience like that?!
