28 on the 28th

I've finally hit it. My golden birthday. I turned 28 years old yesterday and for the first time in ten years, I'm not melancholy about being another year older. Don't ask me why I always got saddened when I gained another year, 'cause I couldn't tell you exactly why.

I do remember turning 18 and someone saying "It's time to grow up now!" I think it might have scared me real bad or something... because from that moment on birthdays were not joyous occasions. In part, it was probably connected to the fact that "being an adult" automatically meant having everything figured out. And let me tell you, I was nowhere close to having it all figure out at 18. Goodness, I still haven't quite gotten it!

But as the years have gone by, I've slowly fallen into the truth that "figuring it out" isn't really my number one task in life. In fact I think the title of my entire blog is closer to what my life's goal should be! If I use what I have and am a good steward of the skills, gifts, passions and everything I have... I think it'll be alright. And I have to say, coming to this realization (and truly letting it sink in) definitely releases the "bondage" of adulthood.

So I've been taking the things given to me and using them as my dear Lord leads. Some days it makes total sense what is going on... and other days I'm as confused as ever. I think the important thing is using the stuff we have. Just use it! No matter how big or small it may seem. As we use things, we'll be blessed all the more and those gifts we have will grow. It's like one of those sea monkeys. They start off small but as it's watered up and soaking over a period of time... it grows. Okay, maybe it's not exactly like the sea monkeys, but you know what I'm saying!

And here I am. A 28 year old girl. Embracing all that the next year of life holds. I am so very excited to see where life takes me and how these God-given gifts and desires will play out in all that lies ahead.

It's not my job to figure out this life. It is, however, my job to follow the One who has it all figured out! Off we go!!

By Your Grace

In May of last year, I was spending time with the One who made me. I like to sing and so naturally one way I show my affection is through music. I was reflecting on how much confusion and brokenness I live in, and clinging to the fact that He is the only One who can pull me out. Out of this time, a simple chorus was formed and it got stuck in my head. As the week continued, the chorus gained some verses and a bridge.

My church family has been blessed with wonderful musicians and songwriters. These are people with experience and insight that goes far beyond anything I could imagine upon myself, so I feel blessed to be considered a part of this demographic. And because of this presence of writers, a songwriting group was formed. It just so happened that at the end of the week I wrote the song, we had one of our meetings. Through the sharing of the song and feedback received, I went back to work and "By Your Grace" became what it is today. It was really a demonstration of God's grace in how this song came about. His timing, His provision, His grace allowed for this song to come forth. And now a little more about the song...

You see, we live in a broken world and it is only by grace that we can be saved. There's darkness & confusion. Worry and sadness. But there is hope! And His name is Jesus. We call & cry out to God, and He pulls us closer to Himself and covers us by His love and grace. I am thankful.

I think we often try to earn our place in His kingdom, but there is just nothing we can do to deserve anything. And that's where grace steps in and takes us to glorious places. He takes the brokenness, the darkness, the stress, the crazy, the wrong and the right... and uses them all for His purpose & His will. Our job is simple & hard all at the same time for us humanly folk... to trust and obey. His grace covers all.

So as I share this song on this little bloggeroo, my wish is that you really adopt this song-prayer as your own and allow the comfort & knowledge of grace resonate within your soul. I've recently been given a beautiful opportunity to share this song in a more public manner. It's surreal and soooo cool all at the same time.... and yet another display of God's grace.

The darkness swells around me

All I see is empty space

Still You hold every part of me by Your grace

Lord, You save

I'm calling out Your name as I bow down

Calling out Your name as I cry

So pull me into You for I'm broken

Cover me by Your grace

You search and know and love me

In everlasting ways

So I call to You for mercy

And by Your grace

Lord, You save

I'm calling out Your name as I bow down

Calling out Your name as I cry

So pull me into You for I'm broken

Cover me by Your grace

Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus... hold me still

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Your grace and will

I'm calling out Your name as I bow down

Calling out Your name as I cry

So pull me into You for I'm broken

Cover me by Your grace