I was recently posed some questions by a friend on my upcoming decade switch. She had asked how I felt and how I was coping. She also asked what I was clinging to and what advice I might have. I was caught off guard at first because I felt so unqualified to answer such questions, but after a little thought I realized I am qualified and soon conveyed the following message...
As far as your questions go, I don't know that I've come anywhere near being super comfortable with being thirty but I can try to answer you.
My thoughts.... hmmm well I never even really thought of myself as a thirty year old but my expectations for adulthood definitely included a man and kids by now. Which I don't have. But that's okay. I look at my adult life and realize much of how I've lived and things I've done are a reflection of being single (or unmarried at least). And those things have shaped me and formed my heart to be what it is today (ie my love for RFKC).
Had I gotten married at a younger age, I know these passions and experiences wouldn't have ever come to be. I don't consider myself lucky or unlucky in comparison to other girls my age. I just am me. (Cheesey...I know! But true!)
How do I cope? Well for the last year I've been writing something I'm thankful for each day and throwing that in a jar. My thought initially was if I'm crying when I turn thirty to look back in my last year and see the good things that it had encompassed. But along the way it's caused me to really reflect and be thankful for each day and the good things that are very present in my life. Whether it be strong relationships or a snow day. 'Cause even on a poop day, there's always something to be thankful for.
My advice is to surround yourself with a community that fosters love and cares for the things you care for (or want to care for).
It's weird to be here. But it's good. And even though I do cry some days...I am thankful and excited for my thirties! I have heard it's a good time!
And that's how I still feel. I've had so many great opportunities over the years and I know they are all a part of me right at this moment. I celebrate the music and food and fun and relationships that have been planted and cultivated in me in the last three (almost) decades. If I was the mother of a colony of kids that I pictured myself to be as a fifth grader, I know for a fact these good things I've experienced would have never been!
My life is great. It's not how I pictured it in my childhood days...
It's better.
