Break To Open

So... apparently I am a songwriter. I know it sounds weird that I say it like that, but if you knew all my past insecurities about the matter you'd understand a bit more. But yes, God's given me this sweet gift of song-ifying. And though I can't confidently say this was always a part of who I am, maybe the truth is it was always a part of me and I simply wasn't aware. Until recently...

I used to think there was a special formula or something for writing songs. I have been blessed to know so many talented songwriters, and so while I knew it was not right to think this way... I felt I had a lot to live up to. After a while I just accepted the fact that I was a vocalizer, not writer. And I was okay with that.

But... you see, God put a song in my heart yet I didn't know it was there. But it doesn't matter that I was oblivious, 'cause He knew... and it was just a matter of time before it surfaced and broke free. It literally came out when my heart broke. How cliche is that? I don't mind though, because it's how God brought forth the gift in me. 

Songs are many things and encapsulate so much. Songs are dreams. Songs are thoughts. Songs are silly. Songs are prayers. 

Strange as it sounds, my first song started while I was sitting in a curriculum design class, almost two years ago now. I often write prayers to God and what started as a prayer of circumstance, turned into a prayer of life-surrender, which then became a musical prayer (aka song) that afternoon in my devo-time after class. I feel like the best part of this whole "becoming a songwriter" process was that the first song that I wrote is what I consider the very purpose for my music and being, period!

Every thought and every word, I trust in Your endless love

Every step my soul cries out "I surrender all"

I long for You

Glorify Yourself in me, all I desire is Yours

And as I look to You in all You have for me

All that I am is in You, Lord

Teach me in the ways of You, I am lost without

Grateful heart in all that comes from you, please show me how

I long for You

Glorify Yourself in me, all I desire is Yours

And as I look to You in all You have for me

All that I am is in You, Lord

It took brokenness for this gift to be open in my life. I had to break for it to open! And while being broken is not exactly the most comfortable thing in the world... there is no better comfort than being in the hands of the ultimate Healer. Now I've got this gift that I fully intend to use, remember the title of this blog? Using what we have.