Background: My dairy-free friend was coming over for dinner and I was making sweet potato burgers, but when it came to the buns, I got nervous. So instead of risking her life by buying some tainted buns, I decided to make them myself so no trace of milky nastiness made an appearance. No big thing, right? I mean, come now, being the bakesta' that I am, you'd think I have extensive baking experience. No siry! In fact, to my recollection, I've never made yeasty bread without the aid of a mixer. And so began yet another journey into the kitchen.
I quickly learned (or not so quickly in this case, since it took a while for me) that bread-making goes in long, drawn-out phases. As I was mixing the dough components together, I became a bit frustrated. Cake batter is so smooth and reasonably quick in terms of getting everything incorporated. So this bread thing got to me, yet it was certainly something I wanted to see through! Things were crumbly and not coming together very well. I was instructed to add the liquid in a slow stream. My thought was that this would solve the problem of the lack of cohesiveness. But I still had wandering bits that refused to become a part of the whole.
Eventually all of the liquid was added and things took a drastic turn... but not in a good way. It was like a sloshy mass of paste. The sound of me kneading reminded me of running through a corn maze on a super soggy night. It was a mess... a sticky, sticky mess! Things came together at this point, but my hand felt like it was covered in a tub of glue that's gone way beyond it's normal state into a chunk of gloop remniscent of Slime Monster remains. My fingers were forced into sluggish movements 'cause they were enveloped in this dough explosion. And then came the addition of oil. The recipe said to knead until all of the oil was absorbed. While part of me felt like I was working on chewed up gum, I kept at it... and guess what?! The oil did in fact work its way throughout the dough and... it looked beautiful!
I'm not a very patient person, and this whole ordeal seemed to take foreeeever. But the end result was a perfect ball of dough that was uniform throughout and didn't stick to me!
And God spoke to me.
God is the baker, I am His dough. He's using what I have, even though I view it as unmixable & separate. He takes my scattered being and He brings it together. For He knows the recipe of life... He created the recipe my life. When I'm a little lumpy, He works it out. To Him, I make sense... even in my discombobulated state. He makes sense out of me. Yes, He's taking what I have, what He's provided for me and He's kneading it into perfection. He's adding just the right amount of every ingredient. And although there are phases of confusion, questions about how on earth things will come together, or just wondering how to get out of a sticky mess... He is at work. The scatteredness, the stickiness, it's all a part of a whole! In fact, it's essential for the end result. It's uncomfortable. It's gross. It's frustrating. But it makes for such a tasty, satisfying, Baker-pleasing result.
Looking back at the process of creating that bread, I'd say it's totally worth it. I am proud of it. It's my creation. If I like my vegan buns that much, I am pretty certain God feels that, times a bijillion about His creation... me! And YOU!! You see, the difference between me and God is that He's the ultimate bakesta' and He knows His work so well, even from the start. So those moments of discomfort ain't got nothing on Him. He knows the outcome.
In light of His mercy & love, and this foodevotion, this life's troubles seem rather small compared to the lovely loaf I'm becoming!
