Feed 5000? No Big Deal.

I was reading the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand in the gospel of Mark (you know? the five loaves & two fishies story?). It was followed by yet another miracle where Jesus walks on water. All of this is pretty gnarly if you ask me... or if you ask anyone, for that matter. But as I was reading, something struck me as even more crazy. When Jesus came over to the disciples in their boat... through a storm... while walking on the water... the text says "They were totally amazed, for they still didn't understand the significance of the miracle of the loaves. Their hearts were too hard to take it in"

What the WHAT?! From my standpoint, I hear this story and say "Whoa, how can they not let that penetrate their hearts?! He turned these itty bitties into copious amounts of food!! It's sooo obvious!!"

And then I live my life and don't even acknowledge the goodness granted to me.

I know God is God and He can do anything. It's literally no big deal for God to do great things. He's God! But much like the disciples in this story, I treat it like it's no big deal. I feel like I probably take advantage of the knowledge of His infinite ability and hardly let it strike me!

So here's the thing... God is good. He provides. He doesn't even need us to be like "Oh look what You did!". He just takes care of His sheepies. But... at the same time... I want to see Him at work. I want to recognize His work! I want to thank Him for all His goodness!

I wonder how many miracles I encounter every day... but am so preoccupied and hard-hearted that I simply cannot see or recognize?

Death Is Dead

This is a broken world.
I am broken. You are broken.
But Jesus stepped into our broken mess.
He carried our pain.
He experienced our injustice.
He was crushed by our sinful ways.
Beaten. Bloody.
All the things wrong with us tore Him apart.
He was broken for this broken world... broken for us.

And because of His sacrifice, we have been healed and completely saved.

I love how the song below tells the story of how death met its death.

It's Fairly Sweet

I'm a bakesta' and if you're a fellow baking-obsessed-person, you know that a featured ingredient is sugar. Sugar is a big deal. And apparently a world issue.

In the last year, the truth of injustice has been rapping at my life's door. There are so many things going on but I keep coming back to something near and dear to me. Here's a hint... it's tied to baking. Sugar!!

The sugar industry is kind of ugly. There is physical pain, exploitation, and even precious kiddies hurting... for the sake of sugar. The joy and comfort that sugar brings to so many baked goods disintegrates when I think of the torture endured for such sweet granules. Don't get me wrong, I will never not accept the baked-love of a friend or family member because they choose to use whatever-brand-of-sugar-that-may-or-may-not-promote-this-ridiculous-practice-across-the-globe. But since this whole baking ordeal is a common occurrence in my life, I've made a choice in my own baking practices. Not that every situation and circumstance in this world is guaranteed, but I'm going Fair Trade Sugar baby! It's not saving the world, I know. But it's a step forward.

So here's another component to all this. You know how food is a love language? Well I like to think about the people I food-prep for. But in the case of sugar, I'm challenged to reverse that. I want to be in prayer for those who are oppressed and abused for the sake of something I don't even consider a sweet luxury, but a "right". How dare me! As I am baking up a cake or cookie and use my fair trade certified sweetness, my hope is to pray for those who are on the flipside. Some say that's not much. But prayer is kind of powerful. Just ask God (if you ask Him, I've basically just tricked you into praying).

For me, this is not a social movement or anything. I'm really bad at being a part of those actually. This is about being mindful and prayerful towards those around me... near and far. We live in a broken world and while we cannot fix the entire mess of it, we're empowered by the One who can. So we pray and take steps as led to seek justice here on earth. Justice and hope aren't so far off as our days in eternity. We've been equipped with brains, hearts and convictions. We shouldn't ignore any of that.

In the grand scheme of life it may seem like my sugar endeavor is just a tiny little thing, but as this blog indicates our lives are about using what we have... whether it's knowledge, skill, passion, connections or a combo of all the above. I think it's pretty sweet.

Orange You Glad??

Today God spoke to me. He spoke to me through an orange peel. And I'm supa' [orange] juiced about it!

I was walking to the copier at work and had a fleeting thought about what God has done in me and the gifts He's popped into full throttle. Then I went to the place that we really shouldn't go, but often do. I thought "What if it was all a fluke? Maybe the things I've done well in were just a once in a lifetime thing!" And I got a little discouraged.

Then I got hungry and remembered I had an orange, much like the one I had eaten the day before. I pulled it out of my purse and recalled the sweet peel deal I had done the day before. I peeled it in one peel! It was really fun. It was kind of hard and it took me a little time, and I got some juiciness all over my hands. But it was a cute little thing to "reassemble" my peel... for kicks. What??! Don't act like you never try and do that! So I attempted it again, and much to my delight... SUCCESS!! Peeled it in ONE PEEL! It actually went a little quicker and was a little less messy too, which was a plus.

I had to take a picture. I get excited about silly things.

Victorious again! So I plopped 'em in cottage cheese.

But as quick as I got that last bit of peel off my orange, my previous stream of thoughts were brought back to light.

And God spoke to me.

He said that these things that have happened are just the start. He's not done.

I realize things won't be exactly the same way every time. Sometimes it will be a little quicker. Sometimes a little slower. Sometimes a little messy. And sometimes spick and span. The only thing I really know is that He started this goodness in me long before I was aware... and He gets to decide when it's all done! And, my friends, today... via orange-o-gram... God told me He ain't done! Orange you glad He's not finished with the work in YOU?!!

The Food News

Whenever I eat something that pleases my palate, I have a natural tendency to tell people about it. I don't know if you read my soup story a few months ago, but it demonstrates this behavior in action. I will literally stop whatever is going on just to proclaim the greatness of a dish. The person I'm talking to may already know about the yumminess explained, the person might not even care or the person's interest could be perked. No matter the ears my food speech falls on, there's something that is inside of me which compels me to share the dance of my taste buds.

Good food should never be kept in secret

About two weeks ago, a client came into the office I work and the first thing he said to me was "You're the foodie!" So you can imagine my delight when the conversation lept into our latest food endeavors. There was a connection.

And God spoke to me.

I feel like this situation easily translates to all areas of life. When we share what we care about we spark interest in others, or bring out what is already in them. It forms a bond. A really great one.

I'm convicted to let this passionate way of action induced by good food seep into all areas of my life. Good food should never be kept in secret... and neither should any of our gifts or passions. When something excites us, we let people know (via words, via action... via mini-dance party?)! Likewise, when we start talking something up or doing things that reflect any given thing, it's usually a sign that we're excited! So whether we realize it or not... we're excited about stuff. Just look back at speech and thoughts. Excitement doesn't necessarily mean doing cartwheels and screaming from a mountain top... or it can. And, like it or not, being excited isn't always associated with happiness (but that's another blog for another day).

The things I care for, the things I have, the things that occupy my thoughts, the grace and mercy that has been given to me... the bread of life that sustains me and brings joy and love to the proverbial palate of my every moment, even when I'm unaware... I want to be obsessed with the things I was created for... and then I want the world to know!

28 on the 28th

I've finally hit it. My golden birthday. I turned 28 years old yesterday and for the first time in ten years, I'm not melancholy about being another year older. Don't ask me why I always got saddened when I gained another year, 'cause I couldn't tell you exactly why.

I do remember turning 18 and someone saying "It's time to grow up now!" I think it might have scared me real bad or something... because from that moment on birthdays were not joyous occasions. In part, it was probably connected to the fact that "being an adult" automatically meant having everything figured out. And let me tell you, I was nowhere close to having it all figure out at 18. Goodness, I still haven't quite gotten it!

But as the years have gone by, I've slowly fallen into the truth that "figuring it out" isn't really my number one task in life. In fact I think the title of my entire blog is closer to what my life's goal should be! If I use what I have and am a good steward of the skills, gifts, passions and everything I have... I think it'll be alright. And I have to say, coming to this realization (and truly letting it sink in) definitely releases the "bondage" of adulthood.

So I've been taking the things given to me and using them as my dear Lord leads. Some days it makes total sense what is going on... and other days I'm as confused as ever. I think the important thing is using the stuff we have. Just use it! No matter how big or small it may seem. As we use things, we'll be blessed all the more and those gifts we have will grow. It's like one of those sea monkeys. They start off small but as it's watered up and soaking over a period of time... it grows. Okay, maybe it's not exactly like the sea monkeys, but you know what I'm saying!

And here I am. A 28 year old girl. Embracing all that the next year of life holds. I am so very excited to see where life takes me and how these God-given gifts and desires will play out in all that lies ahead.

It's not my job to figure out this life. It is, however, my job to follow the One who has it all figured out! Off we go!!

By Your Grace

In May of last year, I was spending time with the One who made me. I like to sing and so naturally one way I show my affection is through music. I was reflecting on how much confusion and brokenness I live in, and clinging to the fact that He is the only One who can pull me out. Out of this time, a simple chorus was formed and it got stuck in my head. As the week continued, the chorus gained some verses and a bridge.

My church family has been blessed with wonderful musicians and songwriters. These are people with experience and insight that goes far beyond anything I could imagine upon myself, so I feel blessed to be considered a part of this demographic. And because of this presence of writers, a songwriting group was formed. It just so happened that at the end of the week I wrote the song, we had one of our meetings. Through the sharing of the song and feedback received, I went back to work and "By Your Grace" became what it is today. It was really a demonstration of God's grace in how this song came about. His timing, His provision, His grace allowed for this song to come forth. And now a little more about the song...

You see, we live in a broken world and it is only by grace that we can be saved. There's darkness & confusion. Worry and sadness. But there is hope! And His name is Jesus. We call & cry out to God, and He pulls us closer to Himself and covers us by His love and grace. I am thankful.

I think we often try to earn our place in His kingdom, but there is just nothing we can do to deserve anything. And that's where grace steps in and takes us to glorious places. He takes the brokenness, the darkness, the stress, the crazy, the wrong and the right... and uses them all for His purpose & His will. Our job is simple & hard all at the same time for us humanly folk... to trust and obey. His grace covers all.

So as I share this song on this little bloggeroo, my wish is that you really adopt this song-prayer as your own and allow the comfort & knowledge of grace resonate within your soul. I've recently been given a beautiful opportunity to share this song in a more public manner. It's surreal and soooo cool all at the same time.... and yet another display of God's grace.

The darkness swells around me

All I see is empty space

Still You hold every part of me by Your grace

Lord, You save

I'm calling out Your name as I bow down

Calling out Your name as I cry

So pull me into You for I'm broken

Cover me by Your grace

You search and know and love me

In everlasting ways

So I call to You for mercy

And by Your grace

Lord, You save

I'm calling out Your name as I bow down

Calling out Your name as I cry

So pull me into You for I'm broken

Cover me by Your grace

Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus... hold me still

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Your grace and will

I'm calling out Your name as I bow down

Calling out Your name as I cry

So pull me into You for I'm broken

Cover me by Your grace